Spring is here….yeah I wrote those the words on February 28th. Sheesh it gets busy fast.
Now planting is in full swing, and there isn’t much time to breath. I think I need to hire a full time cook to make me dinner each night because frankly my dear I don’t give a flying leap sometimes. Yeah yeah I do it anyways. It is my job, and let’s face it I do love my family a lot. I’ll stop bitching and be happy I have a family to come home to.
I should be sleeping but can digress quite well, and my molar hurts. Might be from grinding my teeth but feels more like a cavity…and that’s all I need right now after just buying a car. Not.
I know I owe a fellow reader a post about my life having a pig as a pet. I will work on it and hopefully have it done soon. I like to keep my word.
I need a robot to bring me an ibuprofen…or 3.
I m trapped between two pigs and am thirsty.
Night world. Hope your dreams aren’t as crazy and busy like mine.
My first thought of the day was “Fuck you 3am”, and “How much coffee will it take to make it through the day?!!” I wish I could have gotten back to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for a long time, laid there forcing my eyes closed listening to my pig dream about eating something, wrote a few things which I will attempt to get out into the universe this morning, thought about writing some more, thought about my future, thought about my present. Finally got up and was out of the shower by 5:03. Goody me.
I am reading the book called Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, the same woman who wrote Eat Pray Love. I love her style of writing.
Now it occurred to me last night, or shall I say early this morning, that one of her phrases: “Sow Expectations, Reap Disappointments” is a very deep and real thing. This fact is so true and I would have to say that I agree with it completely. If I expect anything from anyone in this world, I am either let down, disappointed or my feelings get hurt. I have been fighting with this situation for a while now and after seeing those words on paper really struck a chord. Enough to make me go “Huh!” almost out loud while I lay in the pre dawn suspended state of awareness.
I also made up a questionnaire to post but will have to think on that one a bit before I post it, I want to be able to get the feedback that is needed without it being confusing to do so. It is questions for men and women about each others wants and needs, I will be requesting Brutal honest from anyone who reads it. I like honesty, and look forward to seeing if anyone has the balls to spit out what they really feel. Not many like to do that. But here I have no fear and would like to see who else doesn’t as well. 🙂
I wrote a poem, well saw a poem, that I am going to try to write this morning as well. It was very powerful vision of a poem. We will see if I still have it in me to write like I used too. Possibly “Screaming Fire” is what it will be named. We will see.
Lets get this shit started.
Oh man woke up with a bitching head ache, crabby beyond all reason, and somehow still able to find a mask to put on before I face my kids. It’s not their fault I don’t want to be part of society today. I had to turn on music so the clicking of game controllers stopped beating like symbols in my brain. I took 4 ibuprofen, and hope it will help. I think it might be a Skylar Grey day, along with quiet knitting and reflection. Actually let myself have a Saturday, aside from watching my nephew play his first basketball game, very exciting, and lunch with my mom and sister. That will be nice, mostly because I don’t have to try to be happy or in a good mood. They accept me the way I am…moods and all. 🙂
Pancakes wait for no one and it would taste like shit in the powder form and not cooked. Off to the kitchen…its closer to my coffee pot anyways 😀
Happiness is here 🙂
I could stay there for weeks…
I will enjoy my Saturday,
and if I can manage to not get dressed today
It would be a successful day for me 🙂
So I made the big mistake on trying to get a little extra sleep this morning, my mind wouldn’t stop spinning. Sucked big time. With I would have just gotten up and got moving. This Friday already gave me the finger. Time to bitch slap it and move on. It will be as good as I make it. I need to look forward! Pull yourself together woman!
On a side note: I think these quiet days are getting to me. I am easily overwhelmed by scenarios that I am pretty sure are a fabrication of my imagination. I have lost some faith in people over the years, and convincing myself that I do not need to be subject to these thoughts and feelings, considering they are not true and are just made up notions that form due to my insecurities, I have never been the securest of people, and I hate that about me.
Another thing is the Stress and worry, Fuck ’em. I hate feeling stressed and I absolutely hate worrying. I wish my head would shut up and leave me alone sometimes. To just be silent…for a few moments…I know that God has taught me to not worry. I believe that is one of the hardest things I come across each day.
I got to get my ass moving, and put positive thoughts in my head, and have a good day. It will blow if I don’t.
That’s what all she wrote 🙂 Well we have a lot more ideas, I will keep you up dated.